I’m having another moment, where I feel alone…
it’s for a silly reason really, but i do feel it. There was a time when i felt that i belonged somewhere only to realise that I never was meant to belong in that group/association/body/cliches/ whatever… just cause… it dawned on me how much I am not apart of that group. The happy times I once had with these groups, I cherish.. yet it later hits me how much that I am not there, but am part of it by default..
When I say am there, meaning that I still do talk with the people, I still have the people talking back with me.. that’s what I mean by apart. It’s not a one of thing where it’s a random hi and bye. Sure there are some who will acknowledge my existence, then there are those who i talk to often because I am closer to them from the start…
… feels a bit like school at some points…
I remember a friend of mine, Philip once mentioned that we have groups of friends.. they get hot and cold. Like say you hang out with one group so much, everything you do involves them, everything you say involves them.. that’s hot. Then suddenly the group disperses and it becomes cold. The cycle then starts again when you find a new group to be with…
… kinda funny in a way…. Of course I’m not saying it happens like that all the time. In fact in those groups you would be able to gain real close friends.. that will stay ‘hot’ forever.
I do not mean for this to any of the social groups that I mix with. I cherish everyone of the different groups that I am in…. So whoever that reads and those who know me.. do not try to analyse me or read between my words. Rather I’m pointing it to an association which i should not have had sentimental values for – I decline to say which or why.
I am just in a bit of disappointed mood…
it’s emo.. yeah i know..









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