Monthly Archives: October 2005

Memory. 559

You know after much reading on Beloved by Toni Morrison, one actually ends up loving the book, even though it maybe rather gothic, and holds no particular historical relevance to asian context. But it does prove very much a worthy read and what one can learn about accepting social pasts. Basicaly that whole novel is a slave narrative that is base on a true story of a mother who loved her children so much, that she was willing to do anything to keep them from the clutches of slavery. Even murdering them and herself.

You know how when a past that has happened to you or somebody else affects you greatly. And half the time it doesn’t go away.. the nagging lingering feeling of the past still haunting you. According to Beloved, there are two manners of settling a past the unhealthy way. One is the method of ignoring it completely, and possibly denying it. This could end up with a very hardened heart and mentality, where in the end one will never permit discussion of the topic or even a thought about it. Second method, is actually letting the past bother you so much till you live it in your present time. The person then reembodies the past and in the end will suffer from depression, or of some sort of situation which just gets them sunk deeper and deeper into the past. That to come out of it soon becomes difficult.

Basically the point i want to iterate here, is the fact that a past no matter how bad can never change. It will always be as it were, and there is no point crying over the spilt milk of a past. The only way of getting through it is to relook at it perhaps and overcome it. How? There are so many ways. It hurts very much when a past overwhelms you till even the meer thought of it can cause a tear to the idea (in reference to bad memories). But when a past resurfaces and you feel the emotion that occurred at that time, does not neccessarily mean that one is not over it? That it still bothers and lingers like a foreign entity in your head?

All memories of course are not bad. But why have a memory? If one never remembers what happened at that point in time, one will never learn, one will never know what it means to have such pain happen. Probably one can also look in perspective as to why bad things happen. There is always the choice of looking at a memory in an optimistic way and a pessimistic way. It depends on how you look at it, that will decide your actions and thoughts of that memory.

P.H.D = Persistant Head Damage 1,175

My my… it’s been pretty long since i have actually put up anythin here… more than a month to be exact…so many thoughts and all of them are unfortunately kept in my head… no wonder i have been going completely mad!

There isn’t much possibility of my brain functioning correctly at this hour right now, as it is 1 something in the morning, on top of that i’m trying to cram for the exam which awaits me this coming thursday morning… ugh..

Why i say P.H.D? While using the term Persistant, cause that is basically what the chase for knowledge does to you and at the same time when you force your brain to understand whatever it is that is before you. I’ve had much that I wanted to draft out here, but sadly forgot most of them.

Nevertheless I still have some rubbish to talk about here.. that might be worthwhile.. your choice, whoever it is that reads. Things have been rather hectic as COSTA, has beome awaken for a particular few weeks followed by a week of dying from stress in that same week, and now everything has to be turned of momentarily till the exam period is finito.

The one thing i love about group work or gathering of any sort that involves people. Is that through working out for an event, you actually get to see the wonders of relationships grow between people. Where once two people or more were strangers that barely ever talked to one another, from just one small working environment you get to at least start of the spark of a ‘conversation’… which in due course will take its turn into a friendship.

Another thought about P.H.D. the last day of revision, my head just cracked under the extremely to overly used term CONTEXT!! Basically after much digesting in the head…context makes up everything. Without context you can’t understand nuts about what you are reading, or how to even bother making an interpretation out of anything. The other head boggling thing was text…what is text:? Text is anything and everything..from what you see, hear, smell and even think! ou would think i have not have lost my sanity right there and then. But you see to read in context here, is not entirely possible cause you would not have known what had gone on that day in the classroom. But to keep it brief, it was a P.H.D.